Experimental Cancer Drug Sees 100% Success Rate In Clinical Trial

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A small clinical trial testing the experimental drug dostarlimab saw 100% of rectal cancer cases go into remission, with oncologists saying the unprecedented results have the potential of being a huge step forward in cancer research. What do you think?

“What about the other 0%?”

Calvin Hamid, Systems Analyst

“I don’t know, my HMO says there are a lot of upsides to having cancer.”

Gideon Morris, Dirt Expert

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“Let’s see it go head-to-head with good old-fashioned prayer.”

Joy Kruger, Aquarium Curator