Experts Warn Uptick In Celebrity Boxing A Sign Nation Still Not Ready To Process Last Four Years

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LOS ANGELES—Calling the trend a disturbing symptom of underlying systemic issues, experts at the UCLA Center Of Media Studies warned the nation Friday that the recent uptick in celebrity boxing matches was a sign that we are still not ready to process the last four years. “When we see something like the Jake Paul-Nate Robinson match, that is a clear sign of a society in distress and unable to cope with trauma,” said head researcher Vanessa Huerta, who claimed that the recent announcement of Lamar Odom’s matchup with child star Aaron Carter does not bode well for the prospect of a calm 2024 election or the future of democracy in general. “We have deep divisions in this country, but instead of facing them head on, we would rather watch celebrities punch each other in the face. Jose Canseco and Barstool Sports? That is nothing more than income inequality and racial tension. These are telltale signs of denial. You saw the same thing in Russia before the revolution.” Huerta ended her announcement by calling on Congress to act now before the country descended into a Mike Tyson vs. Post Malone–level disaster.