1. Ohio State (11-1): Shows what can happen in a contentious season if you just play pretty good football and wait for everyone to throw up their hands, say "screw it," and vote you No. 1 out of habit
2. LSU (11-2): The Tigers were able to leap from No. 7 to No. 2 in the final week when the BCS computer factored in the average start time of their games
3. Virginia Tech (11-2): Pollers felt need to move Virginia Tech up to No. 3 so they could play in the FedEx Orange Bowl, as in light of past events, it would have been insensitive to invite them to the Tostitos Unspeakable Tragedy Bowl
4. Oklahoma (11-2): Once again the Sooners make it into the top five because someone on the team has an uncle who knows the BCS computer
5. Georgia (10-2): [cue banjo music]
6. Missouri (11-2): Despite numerous letters, phone calls, and visits from NCAA officials, the Tigers still think they're going to the BCS National Championship
7. USC (10-2): Alumnus Judd Apatow had a pretty good year overall
8. Kansas (11-1): Would have been ranked higher, but committee hated their arch, theatrical habit of beginning away games by observing they were not in Kansas anymore
9. West Virginia (10-2): Oh, okay, yeah, West Virginia, they were good, then they lost, still good but, you know, they're the No. 9 team, fine, whatever. Who gives a shit at this point?
10. Hawaii (12-0): Finally advanced to first BCS after beating Hawaii State, South Hawaii, and Hawaii A&M four times each