ALPHARETTA, GA—Gathering around the kitchen table to pick out their favorites, all four members of the Johnson household eagerly dug into a 38-piece AstraZeneca pill sampler that they received as a holiday gift, sources confirmed Friday. “I like the blue-and-red ones a lot, but I’ll pretty much eat any of them except for the yellows; I always leave those for Dad,” said 12-year-old Evan Johnson, who added that out of the box’s assorted painkillers, decongestants, estrogen supplements, and antipsychotic medications, he enjoys the ones with a codeine-based gel filling the best. “It’s also kind of fun to grab one without knowing what’s inside and try to guess what you’ve taken. Last year, I got a beta blocker and it was really gross, though, so maybe I’ll just look at the little guide and only pick out the good ones.” At press time, each of the family members had reportedly taken too many pills and was complaining of stomach discomfort, dizziness, and blurred vision.
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