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Family Scandalized After Grandmother Leaves Hot, Young Caretaker Her Cherished Cobbler Recipe

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GREENWICH, CT—Bursting into shouts of opposition as an attorney read aloud her will, members of the local Douvry family were reportedly scandalized Friday upon discovering their recently deceased grandmother, Harriet Douvry, had left her hot, young caretaker her cherished apple cobbler recipe. “This is obscene! Grand-mère only knew Fernando for six months, and she’s giving him her most valued possession?” said grandson Reginald Douvry III, who, after arguing the dish of sweet, baked apples topped with a buttery crust rightfully belonged to flesh and blood relatives and not to the twentysomething caregiving Adonis, rushed to comfort a sister who had fainted on a chaise longue from shock and disgrace. “She was obviously not in her right mind when she gave away the priceless secret of her 16-serving dessert to the help. This con artist must have manipulated our poor, frail grandmother, slowly seducing her until she agreed to give him the prize-winning recipe so he could have the cobbler all to himself.” At press time, the hunky caretaker was said to have returned the dessert recipe to the Douvrys, citing concerns that it had already caused his rock-hard abs to soften into love handles.