Favorite Pizza Topping In Every State

Favorite Pizza Topping In Every State

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Americans across the country just love to cram pizza into their gaping maws. The Onion examines the most popular pizza topping in each state.

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Alabama

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Special ground beef that gay people aren’t allowed to eat

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Alaska

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Tender snowflakes that melt upon contact with the hot grease, made all the more delectable by their inherent temporality

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Arizona

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Shredded ballott

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Arkansas

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Blood pesto

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California

California

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Five almonds and a dollop of unsweetened Greek yogurt

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Colorado

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A thin layer of Under Armour lightweight thermal nylon between sauce and cheese

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Connecticut

Connecticut

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Pizza? Really, darling, what are we, ethnics?

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Delaware

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$50,000 cash bail

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Florida

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Drizzled ointment

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Georgia

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Censored pepperonis

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Hawaii

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Famous for its controversial combination of beef and kiwi

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Idaho

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Marshmallow sausage

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Illinois

Illinois

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Another pizza

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Indiana

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Haven’t been able to taste anything since March 2020

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Iowa

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A blue ribbon

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Kansas

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Pizza? Who said anything about pizza? You’ll be eating pork chops just like everybody else tonight, young man.

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Kentucky

Kentucky

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Caramelized tobacco

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Louisiana

Louisiana

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Reptile Lovers

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Maine

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As long as the box features a caricature of an Italian buffoon, they’re happy

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Maryland

Maryland

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Moisture

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Massachusetts

Massachusetts

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Pepperoni arranged to spell a slur

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Michigan

Michigan

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Scrap metal

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Minnesota

Minnesota

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Fried snow

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Mississippi

Mississippi

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Lethal dose of pentobarbital

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Missouri

Missouri

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Diet pills

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Montana

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Whole elk

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Nebraska

Nebraska

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Garlicky cud

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Nevada

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Hole cut in piping hot slice with male genitals pushed through

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New Hampshire

New Hampshire

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Crust stuffed with opioids

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New Jersey

New Jersey

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A thick coat of hairspray

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New Mexico

New Mexico

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Peyote

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New York

New York

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No matter what, it’s overrated

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North Carolina

North Carolina

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Barbecued cheese

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North Dakota

North Dakota

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Pupperoni

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Ohio

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High-fructose pizza syrup

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Oklahoma

Oklahoma

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Whatever ‘tarnation’ is

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Oregon

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Twenty micrograms psilocybin mushroom on 7-millimeter-long pizza slice, eaten once every six hours.

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Pennsylvania

Pennsylvania

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Steel-stuffed crust

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Rhode Island

Rhode Island

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Abominations from the deep

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South Carolina

South Carolina

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If you can kill it, they will put it on a pizza

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South Dakota

South Dakota

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Prairie dog colony

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Tennessee

Tennessee

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Nothing, for there is no pizza topping that can please the Lord

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Texas

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Spittoon refuse

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Utah

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Pizza prohibited by the Mormon church for its ability to incite lust

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Vermont

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Artful leaf tracings

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Virginia

Virginia

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Artichokes originally owned by Thomas Jefferson

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Washington

Washington

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Sausage eaten off nude 83-year-old lying on boardroom table

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West Virginia

West Virginia

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The abstract concept of friendliness

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Wisconsin

Wisconsin

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Always eat it all before ever noticing what the toppings are

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Wyoming

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Crushed red pepper blowing cold and calm across the grainy crusts, a few specks of green spinach amidst the scrub and chaparral, with extra cheese

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