Favorite Pizza Topping In Every State

Special ground beef that gay people aren’t allowed to eat

Tender snowflakes that melt upon contact with the hot grease, made all the more delectable by their inherent temporality

Shredded ballott

Blood pesto

Five almonds and a dollop of unsweetened Greek yogurt

A thin layer of Under Armour lightweight thermal nylon between sauce and cheese

Pizza? Really, darling, what are we, ethnics?

$50,000 cash bail

Drizzled ointment

Censored pepperonis

Famous for its controversial combination of beef and kiwi

Marshmallow sausage

Another pizza

Haven’t been able to taste anything since March 2020

A blue ribbon

Pizza? Who said anything about pizza? You’ll be eating pork chops just like everybody else tonight, young man.

Caramelized tobacco

Reptile Lovers

As long as the box features a caricature of an Italian buffoon, they’re happy

Moisture

Pepperoni arranged to spell a slur

Scrap metal

Fried snow

Lethal dose of pentobarbital

Diet pills

Whole elk

Garlicky cud

Hole cut in piping hot slice with male genitals pushed through

Crust stuffed with opioids

A thick coat of hairspray

Peyote

No matter what, it’s overrated

Barbecued cheese

Pupperoni

High-fructose pizza syrup

Whatever ‘tarnation’ is

Twenty micrograms psilocybin mushroom on 7-millimeter-long pizza slice, eaten once every six hours.

Steel-stuffed crust

Abominations from the deep

If you can kill it, they will put it on a pizza

Prairie dog colony

Nothing, for there is no pizza topping that can please the Lord

Spittoon refuse

Pizza prohibited by the Mormon church for its ability to incite lust

Artful leaf tracings

Artichokes originally owned by Thomas Jefferson

Sausage eaten off nude 83-year-old lying on boardroom table

The abstract concept of friendliness

Always eat it all before ever noticing what the toppings are

Crushed red pepper blowing cold and calm across the grainy crusts, a few specks of green spinach amidst the scrub and chaparral, with extra cheese

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