ROCKVILLE, MD—Commissioner Lester M. Crawford of the Food and Drug Administration announced Monday that the FDA has cleared all 314 drugs pending approval—from Avoxildon to Zofax KB—and plans to take the remainder of the year off. "Hmm, 'Monozyklin… a selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitor… may cause irregular heart murmur'… That sounds reasonable," Crawford said, reading the drugs' intended uses from a checklist. "I'm sure Merck wouldn't have bothered making this if it didn't actually work. Approved!" Crawford said he'll use the rest of November to research his month-long Christmas travel plans.