Disney Plus, the subscription streaming service from Disney, will launch November 12. The Onion takes a look at the biggest features of Disney Plus.
Brand-new original derivative content.
Low initial $6.99-a-month launch price to very quickly triple.
Full access to 60-plus years of advertisements.
Ability to watch Frozen over and over again on new service.
Prime opportunity for more adults to make liking Disney integral part of personality.
Supports up to 10 devices from thankless kids.
Can somehow wring previously undiscovered marketing insights from fact that you like Star Wars.
Everything else AT&T hasn’t bought.
Series of original short films by underrepresented filmmakers Disney doesn’t trust with full movies.
Absolutely nothing the world of online piracy can’t provide.