CINCINNATI—Calling the air freshener their “strongest product yet,” executives at Febreze reportedly began marketing a new rotting rat carcass Wednesday for covering up tough odors. “Whether you’re dealing with an overflowing trash can or a noxious bathroom, Febreze’s new line of bloated, dead rats will cover up that unpleasant scent fast,” said Procter & Gamble CEO Jon R. Moeller, who explained that the festering rodent’s patented long-lasting technology meant one rat could last for months in the average household before needing to be replaced. “Place one in the corner of the room, or toss one into a ventilation shaft if you prefer to keep it out of sight. They’re also great for overpowering musty scents in small spaces like closets and drawers. And the best part is that there are no heavy perfumes—everything’s 100% natural.” Moeller went on to state that consumers would have their choice between mauled, flattened, and electrocuted scents.