Fermilab Receives Generous Anonymous Particle Donation

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BATAVIA, IL—Calling it the most substantial private donation the research facility has received in years, officials at the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory announced Monday that an anonymous benefactor had given them a generous particle donation. “We will be able to use this considerable bequest of particles for a multitude of projects that would not have been possible otherwise,” said Fermilab director Nigel Lockyer, explaining that the donor did not wish to be named and stipulated only that each of the particles be used in order to further scientific research. “Donations such as this are crucial for us. Particles are never easy to come by, and with the cuts to our federal support currently under consideration, we’re going to need all the particles we can get.” Lockyer went on to say that Fermilab always accepted particle donations of any size, from the smallest quarks and neutrinos to entire atoms.