‘Five-Second Rule’ Disproven

Though urban myth dictates that spilled food is safe to eat if retrieved within five seconds, scientists have recently disproven this “five-second rule,” explaining that contamination isn’t determined by the length of time food spends on the ground, but rather the amount of bacteria present on the floor. What do you think?

“Of course it didn’t work. They forgot to yell out ‘five-second rule!’ as it hit the ground.”

Dolores Rooney • Tombstone Polisher


“Am I supposed to throw away this perfectly good soup just because it spilled all over the floor?”

Vince Dudger • Lipstick Namer

“Well sure, maybe a rich scientist can afford to drop $2.99 on a second trip to Speedway.”

Rick Sacks • Iguana Groomer