‘Flatbread Means Pizza,’ Man Explains To Visiting Father

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BROOKLYN, NY—Assuring him that the food wasn’t any different than what he was used to, 26-year-old Brendan Aaker reportedly explained that “flatbread means pizza” to his visiting father while dining at a neighborhood restaurant on Thursday. “The crust is a little thinner than regular pizza, but it’s the same thing,” said Aaker, who, noticing his father’s bewilderment, added that “margherita” was pretty much cheese pizza with a few basil leaves on it, which he could take off if he wanted. “Just get the ‘jamon’—it’s ham. You’ll like it.” At press time, Aaker was alerting his father to what the doors labeled “WC” meant before he went looking for the men’s room.