CLEARWATER, FL—Hoping that she had done enough to obtain one of the coveted feminine hygiene products, local Florida woman Jessica Calderon filled out a 25-page application Thursday in order to receive a tampon from a dispenser. “Let’s see, I’ve filled out my personal information and my medical history, now I just hope that my income, personal references, citizenship, insurance, and doctor’s referral look okay,” said Calderon, who signed the complicated application and enclosed the $50 nonrefundable tampon request fee. “Physical examination? Check. Blood type? Check. Damn it. I forgot to get it notarized. I really don’t want to have to do this application a third time, because then I won’t be allowed to submit again for a year. Hopefully they’ll at least approve me for a pad.” At press time, Calderon had been rejected and forced to complete an in-person interview at the Florida health department, take a seven-week tampon training course, and undergo a psychological examination after marking her marital status as “single.”
We may earn a commission from links on this page.
Congress Approves Empty Paper Towel Roll For NASA To Use As Telescope