INDIANAPOLIS— Touting the product’s ability to replicate the debilitating repercussions of toiling in person, a new fluorescent light therapy box reportedly helps remote workers experience the draining effects of the office, sources confirmed Friday. “Before I felt so energetic and focused, but this thing quickly puts me in a terrible mood and helps me feel like I’m wasting my life in a dead-end job,” said remote worker Larry Monroe, noting how the fluorescent light box’s constant loud buzzing helped amplify his feelings of numbness and apathy. “All it takes is sitting under this thing for five minutes or so in the morning, and it completely saps away my ability to focus, it’s great. I’m really feeling the monotonous sterility of day-in, day-out menial work, but it’s all from home! I could be imagining things, but I do feel like it’s making me paler, too.” At press time, Monroe also recommended creating a cramped workspace with dingy white walls to further simulate the depressing office environment.
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