Foreign Guy Probably Dressed Very Fashionably For Wherever He’s From

DENVER—According to sources, the foreign guy spotted on Colfax Avenue wearing tight, distressed green jeans and a graphic tee could very well be at the height of fashion back in his home country, wherever that may be. “Sure, he’s wearing really boxy glasses and his hair is all spiky on top and shaved around the sides, but I don’t know, maybe that’s just what’s in vogue back where he’s from,” said Denver resident Kyle Shea, adding that in the foreign man’s birthplace it is probably the height of chic to have the word “Love” embroidered in glitter across one’s T-shirt. “Hell, maybe all the tastemakers in God-knows-where-he’s-from leave the house every day in purple undershirts, Skechers, and gold chains. Who am I to say?” At press time, Shea was thinking it’s got to be either Russia or Croatia, possibly Turkey.