MADISON, WI—According to sources, former lovers John Breneman and Ingrid Matay returned Friday to the coffeehouse they had frequented in college, stoking the last dying embers of their feelings for each other and sharing one final cliché. The couple, who began their banal relationship after meeting at a party freshman year and bonded over their shared enthusiasm for the same band, are said to have broken up after graduating and getting jobs in different cities. On Friday, the two reportedly exchanged hackneyed, bittersweet memories from their past, recounting their first kiss, shared under an awning as a freak storm passed, as well as the picnic they went on—complete with blanket, basket, and bottle of wine—in trite celebration of their first anniversary. At press time, the couple had exited the coffee shop, shared a lingering hug full of rehashed sentiment, and gone their separate ways, with Breneman looking back over his shoulder to make eye contact in one last well-worn trope.
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