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America's Finest News Source.

Former Walmart Executive Unveils Plan For $400-Billion Eco-Friendly City In Desert

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A former Walmart executive has unveiled plans for a $400-billion futuristic desert metropolis called Telosa, which promises to be eco-friendly, drought-resistant, and accessible by 15-minute commute times within the city. What do you think?

“Well, it better not be near where I’m building my city.”

Shaun Allerano, Cat Acquisitor

“We haven’t seen this kind of idealistic utopia since Jim Jones.”

Lulu Halliday, Professional Folder

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“Wow, I can’t wait to raid that place after the apocalypse.”

Teo Joyner, Gouger