Forward-Thinking CEO Hoping Company Can Capture New Audience By Making Product Worse In Every Conceivable Way

Illustration for article titled Forward-Thinking CEO Hoping Company Can Capture New Audience By Making Product Worse In Every Conceivable Way

NEW YORK—Taking an expansive view of future prospects for the business, forward-thinking CEO Rick Benson was reportedly hoping Thursday that his company would be able to capture a new audience by making their signature product worse in every conceivable way. “Let’s face it, this industry moves fast and we have to be ready to cater to new users by altering every single thing that was popular in the first place,” said Benson, confirming his intention to court additional demographics by ensuring the next version was buggier, slower, and contained a more counterintuitive interface. “We can’t be afraid to innovate and push boundaries, which is why I’ve instructed our development team to get to work, taking a look at what’s been working for the last few years and then destroying from there.” Benson added that the company would be sure to retain their current audience by walking back some of the most horrific changes to their product in a couple years.