315,000-year-old Moroccan fossils have been determined to belong to early Homo sapiens, making the human race 100,000 years older than previously estimated. What do you think?

“Now that I know we had an extra 100,000 years to come up with it, I’m no longer impressed by the Renaissance.”
Jacqueline Cross • Bus Mechanic

“It’s nice having thousands more generations to blame my problems on.”
Austin O’Keefe • Instrument Sterilizer
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“We’re closing in on you, cockroaches.”
Jeff Bixenspan • Failed Notary