Illustration for article titled Fox News Producer Tasked With Calculating How Long It Would Take To Get Kid Rock A Doctorate

NEW YORK—In an effort to bolster the booked guest’s professional credibility, Fox News executives reportedly tasked producer Lydia Reese Friday with calculating how long it would take to get Kid Rock a doctorate. “Hmm, it might be tough since he didn’t go to undergrad, but maybe we can swing some kind of honorary degree,” said Reese, pacing the floor of her office as she directed her assistant to research accelerated online degree programs and made a note to check and see if she had any contacts at Liberty University who could be useful. “What about a Doctor of Music? Can he do that fast? His albums should be able to earn him some kind of credit. Or maybe he could be a professor and teach a pop culture course on Americana. Just so we can stick ‘Dr. Kid Rock’ on the chyron. “At press time, Reese was sending a message to the legal department to find out what would happen if the network just started calling him doctor. 

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