Friend Asks If There Any Openings At Job He Constantly Mocks

SEATTLE—After politely broaching the subject last week with inquiries about recent hires and overall staff size, sources confirmed Wednesday that area man John Davies asked his friend Matthew Harrison if there were any openings at the real estate information website Zillow.com, a company Harrison works for, and which Davies constantly and relentlessly mocks behind his back. “Hey, man, just out of curiosity, do you know if they’re hiring right now?” Davies reportedly asked in reference to positions that he’s called “stupid,” “so fucking dumb,” and once went so far as to say that he would “blow [his] own brains out if [he] had Matt’s job.” “I can email you my résumé, and then if you could pass it along to human resources, that would be great. You don’t mind, do you? Thanks.” Reports later confirmed that Davies told Harrison that he thinks Zillow.com would be a “pretty cool” place to work.