SAN ANTONIO—Agreeing to go through with the plan should they continue to rate as a two or lower when the appointed date arrived, friends Laura Reilly, 31, and Josh Martindale, 32, made a pact Wednesday to get married if they were both still ugly when they turned 40. “If we both go all the way through our 30s without getting any more attractive than we are now, let’s get married,” said Martindale, clarifying that if, in the intervening years, either of them became anywhere close to average-looking, the deal would be called off. “Hopefully, I’ll find someone to take care of my hideous snaggletoothed slack jaw, and you’ll live happily ever after with a cute button nose instead of that fucked-up, misshapen thing that’s in the middle of your face right now. But if not, we always have each other. Two unsightly freaks against the world.” At press time, the pact reportedly became more likely to go through after the breakup of Martindale’s face in a bike accident.