
WASHINGTON—Racking his memory for the possible existence of any such person, New York Rep. George Santos (R) was reportedly panicking Tuesday after a prospective aide he thought that he made up accused him of sexual misconduct. “But I totally lied about having to interview this fake person to get out of doing other stuff. They can’t be real,” said a visibly frightened Santos, adding that he had no idea how complaints could be filed with the House of Ethics committee when the person who submitted them was a complete figment of his imagination. “Am I going mad? They don’t exist—yes, I’ve acted inappropriately in the past, but I’ve never been called out to face consequences by a fictional stranger. Dear God, who knows how many more nonexistent people are out there that I conjured who also have an ax to grind.” At press time, Santos was trying to contact his lawyer that he made up for guidance.