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Ginni Thomas Dismisses Text Messages To Mark Meadows As Regular, Run-Of-The-Mill Infidelity

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WASHINGTON—Following the publication of text messages that suggested she had urged the White House chief of staff to overturn a presidential election, conservative activist Ginni Thomas told reporters Friday her controversial exchanges with Mark Meadows were nothing more than regular, run-of-the mill infidelity. “I know how it sounds, but when I texted Mark, ‘Help this Great President stand strong,’ I was referring to his penis,” said the wife of Supreme Court justice Clarence Thomas, explaining that she and Meadows had long engaged in extramarital, erotic roleplay that toyed with power in a way she understood might come across to the uninitiated as treason. “What may have sounded like talk of overturning an election was really me saying I wanted him to turn me over. And pound me. Hard. Look, these were very intimate, very private texts that were never intended for consumption by a public that can’t possibly understand how fucking hot I get when a man tells me ‘the King of Kings’ always triumphs in ‘a fight of good versus evil.’ That got me wet as a mop!” Thomas went on to explain that the only reason she attended President Trump’s rally on Jan. 6 was to find a group of patriots who would run a train on her.