RACINE, WI—As she contemplated what she described as an impossible-to-fill void left behind by her mother’s death, local teen Jackie Neulander told reporters Tuesday that she had been forced to try looking to other female figures in her life to learn that she’s fat. “I appreciate all of my aunts and family friends who have stepped up to tell me I’m getting heavy, but it’s just not the same as having my own mom teach me to hate my body,” said Neulander, tearing up as she discussed how her mother wouldn’t be there on holidays to make a snide remark about going back for seconds of mashed potatoes, or to one day help her pick out a wedding dress and tell her she looked “a little chunky” in it. “It’s hard to watch as my friends learn from their moms about every flaw in their physique, while I have to rely on TV and magazines to provide me with role models who make me feel bad about my body type. And I love my dad, but he doesn’t even seem to notice when I fluctuate 2 to 5 pounds around my period every month. It’s tough knowing that when I have kids of my own and fail to lose the baby weight immediately, she won’t be around to tell me that I’d better not lose this husband, because I’ll never find another man who will accept me with my double chin.” At press time, her father’s new fiancée had reportedly sat Neulander down to say that, even though she knows she could never replace her mother, she hoped to be there to make passive-aggressive remarks about her weight through all of life’s important milestones.