
There’s nothing less American than performing civic duties, like paying taxes and obeying the law. Here are the best excuses to use if you want to immediately get out of jury duty.
There’s nothing less American than performing civic duties, like paying taxes and obeying the law. Here are the best excuses to use if you want to immediately get out of jury duty.
Confessing to the crime eliminates the need for a trial entirely.
Just because it’s really having a moment doesn’t mean that it’s for you!
Tell the judge that while the decision wasn’t easy, you’ve decided to accept a position in another courtroom.
A judge will consider health restrictions you might have, so let them know that you could realistically die if you’re even in the same room as a court officer.
The officials in charge of the jury selection process would never dream of interfering with someone who is busy.
They’re looking for people who not only qualify for jury duty but are genuinely enthusiastic.
That’s for getting out of surgeries, you idiot.
Most attorneys would be concerned you’ll ruin the ending for the other 11 members of the jury.
Most judges, however, won’t let you finish that sentence.
The doctor said the one you got is pretty new to this country, so a jury room is a great way to test its supposedly startling contagiousness.
Saying this immediately proves you’re a stone-cold liar not to be trusted in any jury.
Well, what are you doing hanging out in the jury box then?
The court will legally have to pay up if you turn out to be right.
Who in their right mind would say no to an excuse this cute?
If it helped you get out of P.E. in elementary school, it should work for jury duty too.
Saying this will convince court officials not only that you can’t be impartial but also that you might be hallucinating.
Every courtroom has difficulty filling non-jury positions, so they’ll appreciate it if you offer your time to serve in those roles instead.
Due to the high frequency of clerical errors, you’ll likely be one of many deceased people in the courtroom.
Judges are looking for jurors that aren’t afraid of commitment and can see things through for the long haul.
Disgusting. You should be ashamed of yourself.