RACINE, WI—Promising a long-lasting fragrance coating vast swaths of land, air-freshener giant Glade introduced a powerful new vanilla passion fruit unmanned aerial application vehicle, company officials confirmed Wednesday. “This new aerial applicator allows our customers, and many potential customers, to enjoy the tropical aromas of vanilla passion fruit over a land area equivalent to the average American incorporated township,” said Glade spokesperson Eva Barrucco, noting that the unmanned scent applicator’s remote piloting enabled it to tactically eliminate off-putting odors arising within a 50-mile radius. “The Glade-F117 is engineered to stay in the air for over 36 consecutive hours without refueling or replenishing its scent tank. And customers, as well as their neighbors and community members, can rest easy knowing that the aerial application vehicle is invisible to radar, allowing Glade olfactory techs to apply our sweet, fruity blend of fragrances without concern that it may be intercepted and shot down.” At press time, Glade recalled the unmanned aerial application vehicle after reports that it may have been involved in the fatal vanilla-passion-fruiting of several schools, at least two hospitals, and an outdoor wedding.
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