LONDON—In an effort to alleviate the vague, passing sensation of restlessness and unease that inexplicably afflicts thousands of people each day, pharmaceutical manufacturer GlaxoSmithKline released a new drug Wednesday specially formulated to treat the symptoms of individuals who just feel sort of weird sometimes. “This new medication will offer millions of people relief from feeling kind of ‘off’ for a reason they can’t quite explain,” GSK chief executive Andrew Witty said of the new drug, Placidex, which reportedly provides relief to individuals who every so often wake up with a sense of being a little out of it, a common malady that, according to pharmacologists, can last anywhere from just a few minutes to an entire afternoon. “One daily tablet will help alleviate the uncomfortable feeling people sometimes get when everything seems just a little bit out of sync. You know, when you’re not quite tired, exactly, but you definitely don’t feel 100 percent alert, and everything’s just kind of…disconnected, I guess? You know what I’m talking about, right?” According to industry sources, Placidex will be followed up by a new drug for individuals who are perfectly happy and are enjoying normal, healthy lives.

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