THE HEAVENS—In an effort to delegate more of His divine work, God, Our Lord and Heavenly Father, has brought into existence a second god who will handle all day-to-day creation duties, sources confirmed Thursday. The new god, known as Brett, will reportedly hold the title of Creator. “I’m thrilled to be bringing Brett on board to head up creation for us—I know we’re putting a lot on his shoulders, but this is literally what he was born to do,” said God, adding that His own role would be shifting to focus more on long-term planning for the cosmos, while Brett would be responsible for bringing forth new galactic, planetary, and biological entities. “Over the course of my career, I’ve come to realize I’m more of a big-picture God. Brett, meanwhile, is a dynamic and innovative leader with a real passion for commanding existence to manifest itself from the formless void.” God, who married last year, added that He hoped taking a step back from creation would allow Him to spend more time with His wife, Natasha, and their twin daughters, Parker and Peyton.