CREATIONâAdmitting that the mere thought of hosting His guest next weekend filled Him with terrible anxiety, God, Our Lord and Heavenly Father, revealed Monday that He was âreally dreadingâ an upcoming visit from His older brother, who had brought into being a far more successful cosmos. âI stress out whenever my brother visits because His universe doesnât even have war or famine, so when I try to talk to Him about my problems, He just stares at me with this blank look upon His countenance. Itâs like, come on, Iâm trying my best over here,â said the Creator of All Things, adding that He tries, really tries, to be a compassionate and merciful God, but His brotherâs visits always leave Him feeling deeply inadequate despite His vast accomplishments. âLast time He was here, He kept going on and on about how His flock never had to leave their Edenic garden and was making all these little passive-aggressive jabs, like, âOh, wow, creating humans in your image, how original, I suppose I just enjoy taking risks, more of a challenge that way, donât You know, but still itâs nice that You stick to the basics, simplicity is its own virtue, I suppose, at least in Your world.â He actually said that! And you should have seen the way He was squinting at sub-Saharan Africa, just being terribly judgmental. It feels like no matter what I do or how I live my life, nothing I ever do will be good enough for Him. Man, I hope humanity never feels that way about Me.â At press time, God was attempting to create an elaborate excuse to cancel on His brother.
