Illustration for article titled God Recalls Getting Start As Backup Dancer Before Making It Big As Deity

THE HEAVENS—Reflecting on how far He had come since His early days on the live music circuit, The Lord God Almighty spoke to reporters Monday, recalling his start as a backup dancer before He made it big as a deity. “It’s kind of crazy to think about it now, but back then, I was basically just a glorified extra in Odin’s traveling revue,” said the Supreme Being and Creator Of All Things, noting that in those days He considered it a success if even one or two worshippers came up to Him after a show. “People think I was just destined to be the King of Kings and Ruler Of The Cosmos, but the truth is I got a lot of lucky breaks along the way. I’m not saying it was an accident that I found success—I worked my ass off doing five shows a night for years, but I was fortunate to have friends like Frannie, Beth, Zeus, and all the other dancers who taught me everything I know.” God added that He probably would never even have made it as a diety if the producers’ original choice for the part hadn’t mysteriously broken her leg right before callbacks.

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