THE HEAVENS—Reflecting on how far He had come since His early days on the live music circuit, The Lord God Almighty spoke to reporters Monday, recalling his start as a backup dancer before He made it big as a deity. “It’s kind of crazy to think about it now, but back then, I was basically just a glorified extra in Odin’s traveling revue,” said the Supreme Being and Creator Of All Things, noting that in those days He considered it a success if even one or two worshippers came up to Him after a show. “People think I was just destined to be the King of Kings and Ruler Of The Cosmos, but the truth is I got a lot of lucky breaks along the way. I’m not saying it was an accident that I found success—I worked my ass off doing five shows a night for years, but I was fortunate to have friends like Frannie, Beth, Zeus, and all the other dancers who taught me everything I know.” God added that He probably would never even have made it as a diety if the producers’ original choice for the part hadn’t mysteriously broken her leg right before callbacks.
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