Good Cop, Avid-Stamp-Collector Cop Routine Not Working

LOS ANGELES—An ongoing interrogation at the Los Angeles Police Department's downtown precinct has not been as successful as hoped, despite the fact that officers are employing the "tried and true" good cop, avid-stamp-collector cop routine, sources reported. "That's one tough bastard in there," Detective Mark Jacobson said of the suspect, who has already endured five hours of the classic psychological ploy in which Jacobson acts as a sympathetic confidant while his partner talks aggressively about stamps and stamp-collecting. "[Detective David] Linklater's in there right now giving that slimeball a good look at a rare original-print Dag Hammarskjöld invert. We'll break him." According to LAPD records, the Jacobson and Linklater duo has been among the precinct's most effective, creating more than 2,000 new philatelists and boasting nearly six arrests.