MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA—Saying they had been expecting something more, employees at tech giant Google expressed disappointment that today’s festivities celebrating the company’s 15-year anniversary only included one drag race of solar-powered Lego cars officiated by New York Times columnist David Pogue. “Today was definitely a letdown, given all of our expectations,” said Google programmer Cheryl Kendrick, saying that she and fellow coworkers were underwhelmed by the mere three different types of insect robots they were given to battle with, and that the field used to play billiards with giant inflatable balls did not look enough like a pool table and was a bit small. “I was pretty bored, to be honest. I thought they might take us to play laser tag at Alcatraz or do something with the Mythbusters. Even the Godiva fountain ran out after like an hour.” At press time, Google cofounder Sergey Brin was personally apologizing to company employees for not ordering enough visor headsets for the Tron virtual-reality simulation.
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