
WASHINGTON—As House Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s husband continued his recovery Tuesday, top GOP leaders condemned the violent assault against 82-year-old Paul Pelosi, uniformly criticizing the attack as half-assed. “We all need to come together and call out this attack in the strongest possible terms for failing to live up to its promise,” said Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, echoing fellow Republicans in his unanimous denunciation of the assailant’s plan as “poorly thought through” and not even a fraction of what it could have been. “Put simply, this sort of half-baked kidnapping plot has no place in modern America. It was beyond reckless for this man to come to his attempted break-in armed with nothing but zip ties and rope. What terrible planning. Not even a pistol? Wouldn’t that have come in handy? And why are you asking where Nancy Pelosi is? You should known where she was beforehand, dipshit. Anyway, this is not the Republican Party I believe in. That Republican Party would have gotten this man to fully think through his tactics ahead of time so he could really knock the whole kidnapping Nancy Pelosi thing out of the park.” Republican officials added that this was a moment for their most fervent supporters to really reflect on the meaning of the phrase go big or go home.