Greenland Shark Could Be 500 Years Old

Radiocarbon dating of a recently caught female Greenland shark has confirmed with 95 percent certainty that the shark is between 272 and 512 years old. What do you think?

“Get ready for an interminable pissing contest between Greenland sharks and Great Basin bristlecone pines.”

Darla Ward • Retired Milliner


“Wow. Think of all the great moments in history this shark was entirely unaware of.”

Jon Berrick • Apolitical Cartoonist

“Sadly, the only way to know for sure is to kill her and count the rings inside her bones.”

Aaron McEnroe • Wheat Grinder