AUSTIN, TX—Citing a lack of originality in the Florida governor’s decision to ship displaced Venezuelans to Martha’s Vineyard this week, Texas Gov. Greg Abbott sent hundreds of migrants to Ron DeSantis’ house Friday to teach him a lesson about stealing other people’s ideas. “That was totally my thing first, and now he’s acting like he came up with this way to mislead, humiliate, and abuse immigrants all on his own?” said Abbott, who immediately ordered authorities to round up impoverished migrants and bus them to the home of his potential rival for the GOP presidential nomination as punishment for DeSantis copying his idea to exploit human beings by moving them around the country like pawns. “He could’ve just thrown them in prison instead of plagiarizing someone else’s signature move. And don’t act like it’s any different because he used planes instead of buses! I want the credit. I want voters to know this whole method of completely wrecking immigrants’ lives was my brainchild.” Reached for comment, DeSantis said he only resorted to the political stunt after he first floated an idea to separate migrant children from their parents and put them in cages, a plan that led to him receiving a cease-and-desist letter from Donald Trump’s attorneys.
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