KENAI, AK—Sitting on a rock atop the powerful, churning rapids, a grizzly bear reportedly caught Michael Phelps in its jaws Tuesday as the sexually mature Olympian leaped out of the water while swimming upstream to spawn. “The grizzly was waiting patiently and just snatched Phelps right out of the air when he launched from the water—it was so majestic,” said eyewitness Robert Simon, adding that the massive bear gorged on the protein-rich 18-time Olympic gold medal winner. “Phelps managed to wriggle free for a second and was flopping around like crazy, but the grizzly stunned him smashing his body against the rocks. And then the bear just ripped open Phelps’ belly with its claws.” At press time, the grizzly’s two cubs were fighting over the last few scraps of the 6’4” competitive swimmer.