Gun Laws In Every State
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Alabama
Alabama
Guns may be legally wed after 16 years of ownership.
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Alaska
Alaska
Salmon convicted of felonies may not purchase a firearm.
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Arizona
Arizona
Guns must be securely buried in the desert at least 20 miles from home.
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Arkansas
Arkansas
Mandatory background checks on anyone who doesn’t own a gun.
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California
California
Law requires every gun owner to first pass an IMDB background check.
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Colorado
Colorado
Legal to grow up to 10 guns in your backyard.
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Connecticut
Connecticut
High capacity magazines are banned for their garish tackiness.
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Delaware
Delaware
Arsenals may be anonymously stashed in LLCs.
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Florida
Florida
Law requires all firearms to be stored securely above the refrigerator or in the car’s glove compartment.
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Georgia
Georgia
Residents are allowed to apply for a license within 24 hours after they have been challenged to a duel for their daughter’s honor.
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Hawaii
Hawaii
Mark Zuckerberg’s security team has first pick of all guns.
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Idaho
Idaho
State sort of looks like a gun, and that’s the law.
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Illinois
Illinois
Requires Indiana residents to abide by 48-hour waiting period before smuggling guns into state.
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Indiana
Indiana
State gun shows enforce a strict ban on cutting in line to purchase a weapon.
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Iowa
Iowa
All guns must be won at state fair ring toss booth.
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Kansas
Kansas
Now why would a real American need to buy a gun when they should already have one?
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Kentucky
Kentucky
All gun show buyers must undergo a 30-minute story from seller about time his brother-in-law used one of these babies to shoot a squirrel right out a tree.
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Louisiana
Louisiana
Forty-eight-hour waiting period on media mentioning any shooting victims.
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Maine
Maine
Old mariners required to bind their most beloved gun to ship’s mast to prevent it from washing overboard during great tempest.
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Maryland
Maryland
Maryland has some of the strongest gun laws in the country, making firearm trafficking very lucrative.
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Massachusetts
Massachusetts
Guns illegal unless a Kennedy needs to get rid of a problem, quick.
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Michigan
Michigan
Firearm purchases require proof of membership in a white supremacist group.
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Minnesota
Minnesota
Guns only permitted during summer months when it’s nice enough to really enjoy them.
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Mississippi
Mississippi
Everyone in this state is already dead from gunshot wounds.
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Missouri
Missouri
Mandatory self-inflicted wound while cleaning gun by age 21.
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Montana
Montana
Anyone murdered by guns in national parks must be dragged out by shooter to preserve their pristine beauty.
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Nebraska
Nebraska
Breastfeeding guns in public is legal, but the social stigma remains.
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Nevada
Nevada
Entire state legally considered gun range.
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New Hampshire
New Hampshire
Shooting deaths are banned in fall so as to not obscure the view of the foliage.
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New Jersey
New Jersey
Why do you want to know New Jersey’s gun laws so bad? Huh? Holy shit. Are you wearing a wire?
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New Mexico
New Mexico
Stand Your Ground law allows gun owners to legally defend themselves in attempted alien abductions.
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New York
New York
Tourists are warned that firearms sold by street vendors are most likely fake.
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North Carolina
North Carolina
Domestic abusers required to count to 10 after a conviction before they’re allowed to have their gun back.
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North Dakota
North Dakota
Wildlife permitted to use guns as a means of keeping human population at a manageable level.
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Ohio
Ohio
Laws don’t apply in the abandoned factories.
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Oklahoma
Oklahoma
Most guns free if buyers can prove intent to hunt down pregnant women.
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Oregon
Oregon
The state has become a destination for terminal patients after legalizing physician-assisted gun deaths.
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Pennsylvania
Pennsylvania
Guns are strictly limited to championship celebrations.
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Rhode Island
Rhode Island
No room for anything bigger than a pistol.
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South Carolina
South Carolina
Gun show vendors must urge minors to not go and do anything foolish before selling them firearm.
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South Dakota
South Dakota
Just grab whatever from the bin.
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Tennessee
Tennessee
Citizens do not need a license to open carry as Tennessee is technically still fighting the Civil War.
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Texas
Texas
The only law out in these parts is shoot first.
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Utah
Utah
Gun owners allowed to defend selves in presence of dancing.
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Vermont
Vermont
Guns only available by special permit for tracking and apprehending foliage poachers.
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Virginia
Virginia
Must register all Muskets, Shot, and related Accouterments with the Court of King George.
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Washington
Washington
Ghost guns must be installed with the latest software update.
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West Virginia
West Virginia
Just try not to get too drunk before blasting shit.
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Wisconsin
Wisconsin
Guns in the home must be kept out of reach of children considered parents’ favorite.
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Wyoming
Wyoming
Lenient gun laws presume you’ll just be shooting yourself.
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