CORVALLIS, OR—Pointing out the absolute waste of money on display, Halloween party sources told reporters Monday that guest Daniel Sarpitta dropped hundreds on a fancy pirate costume that he’ll wear maybe 50 times a year. “Don’t get me wrong, the costume looks amazing, but to pay that much for an 18th-century pirate costume you’re only going to use a few times a month is a bit extreme,” said partygoer Elana Jeffries, adding that even though she could see him wearing the pricey pirate costume at a birthday party or a wedding, or to celebrate Valentine’s Day or Arbor Day, or even popping the waistcoat and cocked hat on for a random three or four weekends a month just for fun, it still didn’t justify the cost. “Seriously, how many times is he actually going to use that expensive robotic parrot besides the two solid months I can think of? I mean, I still regret the $100 I once spent on an Austin Powers costume that I only wore for six months straight.” Jeffries continued that she guarantees Sarpitta puts the costume away for good once May Day rolls around and doesn’t take it back out again until Cinco de Mayo.
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