Half-Dressed Man Frantically Scrambles Out Of Home After Hearing Toyotathon Deals Won't Last Long

SCHAUMBURG, IL—According to eyewitness reports, visibly frantic area resident Dwight Freeman, 31, rushed headlong out his front door Sunday in a desperate attempt to get to his local dealer’s limited-time Toyotathon before his brief window of opportunity closed. “My God, I have to get there right now!” screamed Freeman, who after hearing a radio ad state “these deals [would not] last long” reportedly ran across his yard, pulling a shirt over his head as he carried his shoes in one hand and slammed a cup of coffee with the other. “These are the best deals of the season—the whole season.” At press time, the wife and children of a frazzled, bleary-eyed Freeman were seen stumbling after him as he punched the car’s steering wheel and yelled, “Come on, come on, come on!”

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