WASHINGTON—Hoping to recreate the mind-blowing intensity of his first experience tasting nacho cheese, veteran snacker Joel Spakowski, 29, has been scrambling between local convenience stores throughout the Washington area in an effort to find a snack that delivers the pure nacho cheesiness he craves, sources confirmed Monday. “It’s difficult to see Joel this way, searching for a corn chip or cheese-filled snack that can make him feel the way he did when he had that first zesty bite years ago,” said friend Paul Adams, who has looked on with increasing concern at Spakowski’s devoted pursuit of the ultimate nacho cheese fix, which once reportedly led him to miss several days of work while binging on a mysterious cheese dip of his own creation. “Don’t get me wrong, we all want our snacks to be just as magical as that first time. But how far can you chase that flavor before you go over the edge—before you don’t even know who you are anymore?” At press time, a frantic Spakowski was seen in the parking lot of a local 7-Eleven trying to barter for an entire pallet of Doritos Loaded boxes from a Frito-Lay truck driver.

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