Heavy Drinkers Live Longer Than Teetotalers

A new data analysis in the journal Alcoholism: Clinical and Experimental Research found that people that abstained from alcohol died earlier than even heavy drinkers. What do you think?

"This makes sense. I know when I get drunk I always feel invincible."

Doug Thornton • Systems Analyst


"What, really? I thought I'd only have to tolerate hearing that dentures-in-the-urinal story for maybe another five years tops."

Penny Miller • Backfiller

"I hope my extra long life doesn't tip off my wife that I've been drinking."

Oliver Randolph • Ring Stamper