A new data analysis in the journal Alcoholism: Clinical and Experimental Research found that people that abstained from alcohol died earlier than even heavy drinkers. What do you think?


"This makes sense. I know when I get drunk I always feel invincible."

Doug Thornton • Systems Analyst

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"What, really? I thought I'd only have to tolerate hearing that dentures-in-the-urinal story for maybe another five years tops."

Penny Miller • Backfiller

"I hope my extra long life doesn't tip off my wife that I've been drinking."

Oliver Randolph • Ring Stamper

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