The Australian government has announced an $11 million initiative to introduce a certain strain of herpes into their waterways that will kill invasive European carp while keeping humans and native fish populations unharmed. What do you think?


“Dumping things in rivers has always worked pretty well for us in the past.”

Chauncey Gifford • Phalangeal Surgeon

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“Wouldn’t it be cheaper to find a smooth carp Lothario to spread it around?”

Mackenzie Monroe • Coupon Aggregator

“I remember when giving a fish an STD was a job for the free market.”

Cliff Tyler • Crate Shipper