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Herschel Walker Scrambles To Collect Dozens Of Fetuses That Fell Out Of Pants Pocket

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ATLANTA—Crawling on his hands and knees in an attempt to scoop up as many as he could before anyone at the campaign event noticed, Georgia Senate candidate Herschel Walker was reportedly scrambling to collect dozens of fetuses that fell out of his pants pockets, sources confirmed Tuesday. “Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit,” said Walker, who stuffed handfuls of the embryos down his sleeves and into his shirt, while kicking a few others under a table where they would be out of view. “I’m all good over here, I just dropped, uh, a few personal things. Jesus Christ, I think I stepped on this one. That’s definitely going in the garbage. Hey, this one isn’t a fetus, this one’s just a little smokie.” At press time, Walker watched in horror as a fetus slipped out of his grasp and landed with a splash in the punch bowl.