HGTV Exec Moans With Pleasure Upon Receiving Word About Triplets Who Flip, Furnish, and Sell Houseboats In The Carolinas

Illustration for article titled HGTV Exec Moans With Pleasure Upon Receiving Word About Triplets Who Flip, Furnish, and Sell Houseboats In The Carolinas

KNOXVILLE, TN—Calling the discovery “too good to be true,” HGTV development executive Robert Courter reportedly moaned with pleasure Friday upon receiving word about triplets who flip, furnish, and sell houseboats in the Carolinas. “Sweet Jesus, look at the way they swing those big sledge hammers,” said Courter, who let out a soft whimper as he watched footage of the three sisters exchanging playful banter and barbs while arguing over which mosaic tiles to use for the kitchen backsplash. “And they’re identical too? Fuck. This is just perfect, we’ll call it Seeing Triple—wait no—Triple Flip. Ooh, that’s it. The only way this could be better is if they were Mormon. Wait they are? Good Lord. This is almost too much. I got to book a flight out there before TLC sinks their claws into them.” At press time, Courter had rushed off to go take a cold shower after learning the siblings were married to a rival group of triplet houseboat flippers.

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