BLUE SPRINGS, MO—Holding onto their order forms and making last-minute adjustments to their outfits and hair, students at Blue Springs Senior High lined up by homeroom in the school gymnasium Monday to pose for their annual school oil portraits, sources reported. “It’s great to get out of class for a bit on oil portrait day, though it is kind of annoying to have to sit exactly how they tell you on that little stool and hold still and smile for five hours while they paint your image on a stretched canvas,” said 10th grader Austin Burkhart, who confirmed that his mother had ordered the portrait vendor’s deluxe package, which includes a dozen wallet-sized oil paintings and two 8-by-10-inch portraits suitable for gilded framing, as well as Burkhart’s choice of a mottled blue or smoky gray backdrop. “I hope it comes out okay. Last year I accidentally blinked and it completely ruined my oil painting.” Sources noted that any student who was absent on school oil portrait day would be represented by a post-Impressionist still life of a bowl of fruit in the high school’s yearbook.
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