The first debate of the presidential election between President Donald Trump and former Vice President Joe Biden was held in Cleveland, Ohio, on Tuesday night. The Onion looks at the highlights from the debate.
Trump demonstrating ideological open-mindedness by refusing to condemn white supremacy
Moderator Chris Wallace struggling to keep debate’s racism confined to his dogwhistle questions
Both candidates resist taking the bait of naming any specific policy
Trump falsely accusing Biden of having secret third son named Lomax who has a gambling problem
Enough chaos for your dad to convince himself that both sides are bad so he’ll be voting for Trump again
Trump’s statement telling the Proud Boys to “stand by” and alarming refusal to give dozens of other white supremacist groups clear instructions
Both candidates making convincing arguments for presidential age limits