President Joe Biden delivered his second State of the Union address to the nation last night. The Onion looks at the highlights of the president’s speech.
- Raised interest rates 0.25% in response to boos
- Made repeated, unexplained references to something called “pickle barrel diplomacy”
- Remained alive throughout
- Threw in a few references from 45 years ago to keep Dianne Feinstein engaged
- Gently asked how folks would feel if deadliest Covid strain yet was about to be unleashed
- Tried fentanyl to see what all the fuss was about
- Light crowd work asking how many victims in the audience tonight
- The largest teleprompter font in U.S. history
- Surprisingly well-done rap in effort to relate to younger Congress members
- Inspired bipartisan hope with speech on America’s unparalleled ability to fail upwards
Advertisement