Last weekend saw the marriage of superstar actor and perennial candidate for Hollywood’s most eligible bachelor George Clooney to human rights lawyer Amal Alamuddin in a lavish, star-studded affair in Venice. Here are the highlights of the event:
- Last minute double-booking at the Peabody, MA Doubletree forced couple to scramble and find backup venue in Venice, Italy
- 3.2 million displaced Darfur refugees sat on the groom’s side
- Your annual salary’s worth of candles
- Guests hog-tied for entirety of ceremony to prevent unauthorized photos from being taken
- Three Kings-themed cake topper
- Lot of cocky fucking smiles
- Each guest received a copy of Clooney’s room key
- Make-your-own-nachos bar
- 60 gift-bag copies of The Men Who Stare At Goats discreetly discarded
- Fiesta three-piece baking bowl set still available on couple’s Macy’s registry