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Hines Ward

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STRENGTHS: One of the most agreeable assholes in the game; block on Keith Rivers received harsh critical reviews but grossed $12.5 million worldwide; great blocking receiver, mangling receiver; unlike some Steelers receivers, can in fact catch a cold

WEAKNESSES: Cheap shots could be a little more discreet; is not a natural-born U.S. citizen and therefore is ineligible to be elected league MVP; one of those guys who always has to touch you when he’s talking

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SUPER BOWL PREPARATION: Looking at game film to determine which Packers turn their backs long enough for him to cheap-shot them

WELL-KNOWN FACT: He will definitely get his, and it ain’t gonna be pretty

PUBLIC IMAGE: Considered a role model in comparison to James Harrison

NEXT: James Harrison